1 (edited by Radix Salvilines 2011-09-25 18:12:24)

Topic: The Content: The Siege (story)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you my newest story set in the world of Perpetuum.

Initialy my intention was to create some vision to back the ideas I've posted here:
http://forums.perpetuum-online.com/topi … nt-robots/

but... well it's just me and when I get to write something I just keep adding things in. So it's a small story now :cool

It is strongly advised for the reader to see that post first before continuing.
Everything is happening on a deep-in-the-ocean new island that has been recently discovered and
secured by a 40-man player corporation The Gummy Bears.

Jacob Red is a 26-year old guy that likes playing Perpetuum. A very bored 26-year old guy to be
exact. He recently joined up with this corporation with a funny name “The Gummy Bears” hoping
that there will be a lot of interesting stuff to be done like huge pvp ops. Unfortunately he ended up
being sent to a newly discovered island by one of the corporation's frigates deep in the ocean. The
island is 1/5 of the size of any normal island and it has two terminals - one of them over the sea.
There are also two teleporters that became active upon discovery of the island (and after getting rid
of the initial npc defenders).
The discovery of this island itself is a great story. One of the corp members simply set his frigate
cruising forward, forgot about it and went walk the dog. After coming back and eating the dinner he
discovered his boat was not where he left it... It was sitting on the shore of an island far away from
the mainland. These small islands spawn very rarely and so far only three others were discovered by
scout air robots. Luck. Corporation immediately rushed its assets to a new home.

So here was he - hunting 3rd star mechs for there were no better rats to be hunted on this crap hole.
It was a paradise for miners but not for fighters. Some stragglers used to occasionally come only to
see miners run to positioned exactly in the middle of the island heavy shield generator - thing
impenetrable for any small force. So they stopped coming.
Jacob's in-game nickname was Karrambah or just Kar for friends. He deployed his Artemis and
headed for the location of the 3rd stars in the northern part of the island. Tho of his buddies also in
Artemis mechs were already on the spot. Good - said Jacob to himself. When alone he always had
to pick like two mechs from the distance before going in completely on order to lower the incoming
initial damage. Now he could join an already contained situation.
Guys would not mind him joining the party as it allowed them to chill out a bit. Three mechs were
just enough for this spawn.

One hour into this mindless npc-blasting a dude in an Baphomet assault bot joined them. He was
from a Blood Industries corporation whose CEO was a real life friend of their own CEO. Because
of that they were allowed to stay on the island, mine and rat. Due of their low numbers they were
barely seen usually sticking to the southernmost corner of the island mining stuff. Sometimes one
could see them shifting stuff in amphibious mechs to the oversea terminal. There was also a rumor
that they had one of those weird flying platforms out there. Weirdos. That is what they were
considered to be.
In a normal situation such an intruder would be politely asked to go away but having in mind that
an assault bot was not a robot to hunt 3rd star mechs in all they did is watch and laugh at the weirdo'
attempts to kill one of the npc.
“This guy is sooo good he got this mech down to half armor in two minutes”, wrote h00ligan on the
gang chat.
“And lost like half cargo hold worth of ammo :]...”, replied Jacob.
One minute later the assault bot's armor started to melt and it was obvious that his accumulator was
dry. The little guy started to run but it was too late for it. Luckily for him Jacob decided to intervene
and quickly disposed of the npc mech.
Baphomet sat there for a while recharging and repairing itself and finally decided to go away.
“ROTFL”, messaged h00ligan as they followed the little guy with their eyes.

The party carried on for another hour. The deploys they had on the island required plasma to run so
the corporation happily kept buying it from the members. The most plasma-consuming deploy is the
Heavy Shield Generator - a must to make mining operations safe as it allowed everyone to take
shelter in case of an attack. With teleporters positioned at the north-eastern and south-eastern
corners ,the terminal on eastern coast, directly between them on a square-shaped island. Having a
shield bubble in the center caused most of the small roams to subside as they were unable to catch
anything.
Safe under the bubble The Gummy Bears also had a logistics deploy and a fully upgraded factory
that recently launched a surveying satellite. All that took over a month to mine and sell/build and
now the plan was to use the surveyor to mine a lot more and build and army of heavy mechs and
battleships... and to start-off the Big Conquest.
Someone might say that it is at least strange for anyone to put so much effort into constructing so
much in a virtual world... fragile and made of pixels...

“Guys check out the map I see three reds on the sea lol”, somebody wrote on the island intel
channel.
“Where?”, inquired another guy.
“Close to western shore, they seem to be closing to the bay”, came in the reply.
“Okay, I'm taking the Flash to see what they are up to”, communicated Gangrelus, the CEO.
Five minutes later boss was cutting through the air with his scout-class air robot. Scouts were
considered to be the only really useful planes to pilot. The other air robots had to recharge its
accumulator way to often making them having to land when not in a few-pilots-formation. Also
they could carry ammo only for a few shots.
Gangrelus took position above and beyond the weapons range of the enemy and zoomed in his
camera on them - something that could be done only by a scout-class robot.
The three initial red dots were enemy battleships from a rival, bigger corporation now being joined
by six escort cruisers. He quickly calculated that his corporation had only four cruisers and five
destroyers at the sea terminal, which was not enough to safely deal with the threat at the moment.
Seeing as the enemy fleet was entering western bay it looked like they just wanted to terrorize the
inhabitants a bit with artillery fire.
“All fallback to the bubble!”, he ordered.
It would take the better part of the day for three battleships to crack the Heavy Shield Generator's
bubble and during that time he could easily bring in some reinforcements.
So basically what the enemy was doing was quite stupid and logic suggests they will get bored fast
and go away.
As he came to this conclusion he went en route back to the inland terminal. Just before reaching it
the icon resembling the north-eastern teleport started to flash orange. He had seen something like
that only two times earlier in his Perpetuum career. It meant that the teleport is charging up to let a
Walker through.

Hasty maneuver and he was darting towards the teleporter. In a blink of an eye he started hovering
high above it. His camera showed a timer on the structure - 9:39, 9:38, 9:37...
Less than ten minutes for anything beyond that gate to crawl in on his island. As he knew nothing
about it there was only one answer on what was coming - an invasion.
“Boys we have a walker coming through the north tp, get your *** to the terminal and into squad
fitted heavies”, he commanded to his corporation members.
“oh crap, how many of them are there?”, asked Jacob.
“I don't know there is only a timer on the tp”, “wait”, “they are coming through”.
Jacob finally felt the adrenaline going through his veins. He loved it and it was the reason he loved
pvp. Of course a seasoned warrior like himself knew how to use it, how to control it... but still.
“four Grophos, two Mesmers, three Kains, one Ohm, one Gardel, four Beetloxes and four
Mosquitoes..
And a walker. Gangrelus knew it was the Decreator (or a DC as people named it which also was a
shorter way of saying disconnect) - a trans-racial heavy rocket launcher class walker. The others
were a mobile teleport and a satellite killers which did not fit into this scenario. To confirm that he
just needed to get into the terminal and click one button.
“burn it boys, they're here. Try not to group to much together - you'll be a better target for the
battleships”.
Sometime in between the bubble and the terminal Jacob managed to get himself two beers and three
sausages from the fridge. He knew he needed energy for the fight - both kinds of them.
As they left the bubble first shots from battleship artillery struck the ground evaporating an unlucky
Argano 50 meters from his Jacob's Artemis. Land kept erupting around him for another thirty
seconds until he got out of artillery range. Luckily no-one else lost their robot though some of the
runners were leaving a lot of smoke behind them.
As the Island owners were mostly in industrial robots or were pve fitted so the three enemy Kains
bolted toward them for the easy kill. Two of the slowest Termises were in danger - something Jacob
realized far to late as he was already approaching the terminal. He could only watch as the two
defenseless miners were being demobilised and slaughtered by the aggressor.
Again being a veteran he did not allow himself to have feelings control him. The need for a
vengeance must be put aside, he needs to focus on the overall situation.
In the meantime Gangrelus got back inside the terminal and scanned the space above the island.
Enemy Orbital Command Center was already there. So it is confirmed - they are bringing in the
heavy rockets. He took a few deep breaths - the situation evolved from quite stable to extremely
dire. He had twelve pilots, from which 8 now reported being ready in heavy mechs and four in ewar
mechs and if it weren't for the Beetloxes-class Pelistal mobile artilleries and the battleships they
would have had the upper hand.
“Island under attack, 3bs, 4arty, 6heavy, one heavy rocket, need immediate assistance”, he typed in
the special channel for CEO's and CO-CEO's of the coalition of corporations his was part of.
“who is attacking”, responded CEO of Bricks'n'Rocks corp - a small group of industrialists so the
question was rather out of curiosity rather than gathering data on how to help.
“Black Warriors Ltd”, answered Gangrelus.
He deployed his scout and started mapping locations of the enemies peeking at the chat window
from time to time. No answers.
BWL was a big corporation, three times the size of The Gummy Bears. They were quite new to the
region but surprisingly successful in conquering local terminals. The silence on the channel
indicated that his former allies decided to sit tight and act accordingly to how situation develops. It
is possible some have been offered a position of a “pet” in the new order which means that at the
cost of an dishonorable status of a vassal and the need to pay a fee they will be allowed to stay
unmolested.
In the exact moment he came into this conclusion he received a chat invite. He accepted.
“Hi Gangrelus, we have finally got to pay you a friendly visit”, “Nice little island you have got in
here” - started Subzerus, CEO of BWL.
“Is there any particular reason for you shooting at my boys?”, greeted Gangrelus.
“I will be honest with you - I want this island”, “but I am not some kind of a heartless bastard so I
am giving you a choice”.
Here it comes. An offer of being a “pet”, thought CEO of The Gummy Bears.
“and what would that be?”
“we can a) become friends with you being able to mine on this island for a small fee, or b) we can
become enemies with you getting... removed from the premises”

Gangrelus quickly analyzed all the options in his mind. If he will choose to oppose he can either
wait at the terminal while his assets get blown off or he can attack and get his boys blasted by an
artillery. He may also give up and... from the logical point of view being a pet may not be that bad.
They may get stronger and retake the island later...
No. This corporation was not build on being a coward. He got here by being bold and brave. His
corp members are all vets with balls, they will surely go to this battle with him if he will ask them
to. If they will fall they will fall with honor.
“Zero, you know that word that can be described as a mean to name in a rude way the act of
copulation - it starts with the letter “f”... please add to it “off” and you may consider it as an
answer”, Gangrelus wrote and closed the conversation not waiting for the reply.

He was now down to two options. Better.
“Boys before I will tell you what to do I will have to ask you a question”,”are we ***?”, CEO
typed on a corporate channel. He knew that they knew in what situation they were. If anyone had
any doubts his words just confirmed it. He also knew what the answer will be.
“Hell no!”, wrote kamhil, a heavy mech operator...
“Which one you want me to kill boss?”, followed Jacob...
“shut up better and tell us the direction”, came from h00ligan...
“I am a ***!”, suddenly imputed Grizzzly, a hardcore miner...
“stfu!”,”die!”,”give me back my nic!”, people responded...
“just kidding, let's eat them!”, corrected himself Grizzzly...
“all right then!”, Gangrelus cut the chatter,”they deployed the artillery exactly between the northern
teleport, the bubble and our terminal - so they can shoot at us anywhere we go. Halfway to them we
will get in range of the battleships, now positioned in the western bay. So its a rough ride boys.
Their heavy rocket launcher is also in place and deploying faced towards the bubble”. “I am zaping
into the terminal now hold on”.
Gangrelus switched to his pvp Mesmer and again took a deep breath.
“Okay here is the plan - we go in four groups, each consisting of two heavies and one ewar. Groups
are to be evenly spread - leftmost, center-left, center-right and rightmost group. This is so they
cannot kill us with artillery to easily. We make rush for the artilleries - they deal the most damage to
the bubble. If the bubble falls heavy rocket will melt everything in two shots. I will lead the centerright
group and we will engage enemy heavies.”
CEO hastily assigned people to each squad and gave the command:
“DEPLOY”.

It only took them fifteen seconds to reposition into three-robot units + one with extra heavy. It only
took the enemy thirty seconds to spot their targets and to start shelling them again. The Gummy
Bears began their charge while the land around them turned into hell. They took four different
routes as planned. Leftmost group was in the worst position because they were the first to get in
range of the battleships. Jacob was leading them. Halfway to their objective they lost their ewar
mech and heavies were on fire.
“hooli we won't make it, let's give them some time at least”, typed in Jacob to his unit-mate.
“understood!”
The two battered Seths turned around and started to run in random directions. Agents piloting the
battleships fell for that and kept bombarding the land around dancing robots, missing utterly as they
were unable to predict the target's path.
Right in front of the center-left group four Mosquito-class Numiqol jump bots were jumping back
and forth keeping a laser lock for the mobile Beetlox artilleries. These dealt less damage to smaller
targets than the battleships but still The Gummy Bears were being pounded hard by an extended
range of the blasts.
As for the center-right and rightmost groups the enemy sent their heavies and mechs to intercept,
leaving one Gardel-class Pelistal commander heavy mech - piloted by enemy CEO and one Mesmer
guarding the artilleries.

“Rightmost to me. Primary target is Lord Hefasto!”, commanded Gangrelus.
Just as the center-right and rightmost units regrouped into one they clashed with the enemy.
Attackers had no ewar mechs which was a mistake and in this situation placed the defenders at a
better position. Friendly Ictuses kept resetting enemy locks on CEO's robot, but it was to much
nevertheless. First victims in the chaotic exchange of fire were two of enemy's heavy mechs and
Gangrelus' Mesmer.
Back at the terminal Chief Executive Officer quickly powered up his second pre-fitted Mesmer and
deployed it. Three other corp members that lost their robots in a battle were already waiting outside
in mechs.
„No heavies?”, inquired Gangrelus.
The corporation was unprepared for any bigger attacks and the big army was still at a planning
stage. People were focused on industry and mining at the moment. That was his big mistake.
CEO told the rest to follow him and he steered his heavy mech to where the previous one was
destroyed.
Meanwhile Jacob found himself being the only one still standing in the leftmost unit. Barely. His
armor bar was almost completely empty and it would take just one direct hit for him to make an
express trip back to terminal.
It was not a battleship that finished him but one of the Beetloxes that turned their fire onto him after
killing everyone in center-left unit.
It looked better for the defenders at the right side of the battlefield - they managed to wreck enemy
robots and still had two heavies and one ewar mech left. They continued to the main objective not
waiting for reinforcements from terminal back south.
As they were getting close to artilleries shelling stopped although they were still in range. But it was
not caused by not having enough ammo - Ohm-class mobile shield generator mech started to power
up its emitter. This kind of a bubble was unlike the stationary deploys one - physical. That meant
no-one may enter it and no-one may leave it as long as it is up. Any shots coming through during
ten seconds forming process would make deploying a shield impossible.
Aggressor managed to set up its shield so the defenders had to crack it first before getting to the nut.
Those that lost their robots in the initial wave were still en route - some of them in assault bots as it
was the best they had left at the moment.
„Start firing at the shield as soon as possible, we may still win this one!”,commanded Gangrelus.

Battleships not wanting to hit the shield focused on firing at the widely spread line of
reinforcements, taking out three assaults before they could reach their destination.
When Jacob was half-way to enemy bubble six new reds appeared on the radar.

„New targets at the northern teleport!”, somebody quickly announced.
Five new heavy mechs and a Lithus probably carrying extra missiles for the walker. All belonged to
the pilots whose mechs they managed to blow up earlier. That meant that The Gummy Bears have
been betrayed by an „allied” corporation that had a terminal close to a teleport leading to the island.
BWL had been allowed to access the terminal and store mechs as quick replacements.
„Everyone keep firing at the shield and then kill those artys!!”, ordered Gangrelus. Killing the
artilleries was essential for the factory to survive as Beetloxes were especially good at removing a
heavy shield bubbles. And they had to do that before enemy heavies arrived as there was nothing to
fight them with anymore.
Ohm's shield started to flicker and after another shot it was finally gone. Hostile Gardel and
Mesmer up to this point sitting idle immediately opened fire on the mostly damaged heavy mech,
killing it in three volleys.
Five new aggressors came into firing range just as the first Beetlox turned into a wreck. It was a
race now - and it was not looking good for the defenders.
Mechs and assault bots were dying quickly under heavy fire from big robots. Still everyone kept
shooting right to the end.
Jacob's Artemis was the last remaining robot on the Gummy Bears side. Before getting blown up he
managed to finish off a second Beetlox. He also finished up his second beer.

A grim atmosphere set in at the terminal. There were no combat robots left for anyone and
aggressor surely started blasting the bubble off their complex. As fighting was not an option
evacuation of corporate assets became the first priority.
“We need to evacuate anything we can from the logistic station”, communicated CEO. “Who has
crocks?”
Aligator-Class Pelistal mechs are an amphibious robots able to transform into a small boat and cross
oceans. They are not the best fighters on the ground but can be used to navigate between bigger
naval robots thanks to their small hit surface.
As it turned out from those online three members had swimmers. The rest were supposed to ride
Sequers and Lithuses. A quickly devised plan consisted of two steps. Step one is to get everyone to
the bubble and load what can be loaded. The next step is to get Aligators to oversea terminal with
most expensive stuff where they can switch to destroyers and the rest will try to break through to
get back to terminal.
“Good luck everyone”, forwarded Gangrelus, ”DEPLOY”

BWL forces had focused on shooting at the bubble as predicted. Luckily they did not move their
heavies so transporters could make run for the bubble without problems.
Battleships reacted to late and began bombarding the ground after it got already crossed by The
Gummy Bears.
Inside the base, one by one robots parked in logistic deploy slots packing in millions worth of
assets. It took five minutes to load the most important things and the party was ready for a final run.
Heavy shield hit points were still at two-thirds but hostile heavy mechs managed to reposition
themselves so they could intercept some of the industrials.

“Boys I am sorry this ended up like this...” typed in CEO. “We will share all that is left between
members and if anyone will want to we will start from scratch”
Few people acknowledged but most of them remained silent. Without robots they could not fight.
That meant the terminal will fall into enemy hands quite soon. The invader seemed to be pretty
determined and well prepared to capture the island be it two days or three. Gangrelus started to
think that he made a mistake by rejecting the offer of surrender in such a manner.
“okay lets do it!”, he gave the command and two convoys left the base.
Aligators bolted southwards in order to get out of battleships range as soon as possible while the
rest headed directly east, towards the terminal and a welcome party.
If somebody will ever ask you to storm a wall of six heavies using a group of transport robots -
don't do it. The Gumy Bears were lucky to get two Lithuses and two Arganos through. Still, it was
worth it.
Three amphibious mechs got to the sea unscathed thanks to making a random turns. They
transformed into boats and swam to the oversea terminal. Once there they switched to destroyers
and began a journey to the mainland. Destroyer-class robot was smaller and a lot faster than a
Cruiser so enemies didn't even bother to try and catch them.

As for the rest all they could do is wait. Wait until the aggressor destroys their hard work and go to
bed so they can move everything they managed to save to a public terminal on one of the main
islands.
Then, when all hope was already lost a pilot in one of the destroyers send in a message:
„It seems Bloods are on the move too, their flying saucer is floating over sea terminal”.
He referred to the befriended corporation Blood Industries more often called as Weirdos for their
investitions in air robots and submarines.
Gangrelus immediately changed channels to intel.
„Philion, if you don't know already - the island is lost to BWL”, he informed his mate, CEO of
Bloods.
„I know”, „You want so see a small show? Deploy your Flash”, came in a reply.
„What are you planning, they have a heavy rocket launcher”.
„Just do it mate”
Gangrelus had nothing to loose, plus he was curious what his friend had on his mind. Just as he got
airborne he saw six bombers detach from the saucer. They positioned themselves into a line shaped
formation and darted in the direction of enemy walker.
Before they could reach it heavy shield generator finally gave up and the bubble disappeared.

Missile got launched. Anyone on the island could hear the huge blast it made when it detonated in
the middle of The Gummy Bears base. All the deploys were still there although they were on fire.
One more hit like that would destroy all of them.
But now it was the bombers' turn to make some noise. All six of them managed to drop their
payload directly on the heavy missile launcher chewing up one thirds of his hit points.
To successfully pilot an air robot one had to possess some nicely developed extensions like 3d
maneuvering (faster turns), flight energy consumption (longer flight), formation management
(bonus to damage and accumulator the more aircrafts are in formation). Some manual skills were of
an essence as well. Also bombs were designed to spread damage they dealt evenly over some area -
and the smaller was the target the less damage it received. That and the fact that any anti-air mech
could easily kill an entire gang of air units made them very unpopular.
But walker was, unlucky for him, quite big, so he soaked all of the damage a bomb could inflict.

Another bombing run and heavy missile launcher was on fire yet still loading another missile
provided by the Lithus. Just a few second more and game is over. Bombs fell.

If somebody will ever ask you to stand close to a walker that is about to blow up - don't do it.
An even bigger explosion than the previous one rocked the island. As the dust settled in a bit there
was no sign after the walker, mobile shield generator, commander mech and two remaining
artileries.
Gangrelus hovered high over the darkened land unable to do anything. He was in ave. In ave of how
the bombers that are considered to be useless saved his base. In ave of how simple it was. And
finally in ave of how fast feelings can shift from grief to joy. His eyes were filled with tears and he
had a huge stupid-looking smile on his face.
„I am so pathetic”, he thought to himself and started to laugh.
A minute later he saw explosions coming from beneath one of the battleships.
„Submarines!”, shouted Chief Executive Officer. Five torpedoes later the monstrous naval robot
began to sink.
That was enough, enemy was now in full retreat. Heavy mechs ran to the teleport accompanied by
by falling bombs and the ships made its best to turn around and exit the bay.
Only one battleship and three cruisers made it to the open sea along with five heavy mechs getting
through the teleport.

The battle was over.
Overall the invaders lost a lot more resources than the defenders did. No-one ever attacked the
island of The Gummy Bears and Blood Industries again. People started to fly air robots more often.
BWL never regained its momentum, in fact after one month they split into two corporations due to
management problems.

And no-one ever called a member of Bloods a „weirdo” again...

A PDF is available here:
http://www.doctorx.pl/thecontent/TheContentTheSiege.pdf

NIC donations are always welcome!!

-------
ANY kind of Micro Transactions / P2W - I QUIT!

Re: The Content: The Siege (story)

Nice story, hope one day we can have epic battles like that in Perpetuum.

Looking forward to new players and new conflicts.

Re: The Content: The Siege (story)

too complicated and too unrealistic ... makes for a nice story but that's it.

if you want to justify your suggestions in the other thread, come up with some numbers and not a pretty story.

Re: The Content: The Siege (story)

Hugh Ruka wrote:

too complicated and too unrealistic ... makes for a nice story but that's it.

if you want to justify your suggestions in the other thread, come up with some numbers and not a pretty story.

hehe unrealistic? Can someone correct me if i am wrong but this is a game about robots on another planet being controlled via a wormhole...
I am sorry but it just made me laugh... big_smile:D

too complicated? not more than chess if you ask me...
I doubt anyone had problems in understanding while reading the story.

you need numbers to grasp my vision? okay let me translate... lets say in something like this: 3(5) means 3 robots and an overall strength is 5.

3(4)
3(4)+1(1)
4(4)-1(1)
4(4)<3(10)
12(9)<18(25)
0(0)<6(10)
6(10)>1(10)
you can see here how well balanced everything is now...

i hope this is satisfactory as a "justification" for you.

Now seriously - I am sorry but I find your reply lacing any content - complicated - what you mean by that? Unrealistic - what you mean by that?
Anyways thanks for the kind words - by saying it is a pretty story you made me very happy wink

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ANY kind of Micro Transactions / P2W - I QUIT!

Re: The Content: The Siege (story)

Fan fiction can fall into 2 loose categories, Cannon and Non-Cannon.

Cannon would take into account the current game mechanics, previous stories, and is generally used to explore subplots of the world.

Non-cannon fiction can be entertaining, but is generally not as entertaining to the players experiencing a different world then presented. From a narrative view, all the differences didn't allow me to be immersed. There are a lot of literary ways to introduce new ideas that don't match cannon. For example describing how an armada of navy ships 'could' be built and the advantages they would provide, instead of presenting them as present in the story.

Also, the formatting makes it difficult to read. Going back and editing the line breaks would go a long way.

Hope this is constructive, the raw material has a lot of promise!

Re: The Content: The Siege (story)

Arga wrote:

Fan fiction can fall into 2 loose categories, Cannon and Non-Cannon.

Cannon would take into account the current game mechanics, previous stories, and is generally used to explore subplots of the world.

Non-cannon fiction can be entertaining, but is generally not as entertaining to the players experiencing a different world then presented. From a narrative view, all the differences didn't allow me to be immersed. There are a lot of literary ways to introduce new ideas that don't match cannon. For example describing how an armada of navy ships 'could' be built and the advantages they would provide, instead of presenting them as present in the story.

Also, the formatting makes it difficult to read. Going back and editing the line breaks would go a long way.

Hope this is constructive, the raw material has a lot of promise!

You are completely right from the top to the bottom!! (Even with the formatting - doc version looked way better, maby try the pdf file if you want to smile ).
I was aware that the reader would have to educate himself on the new classes of proposed robots as the story goes and that it might break the whole fun. It is kind of a lottery (experiment) from my point of view - Is everything clear enough for the reader to keep going or its just to much of everything and a reader will loose interest in the story.

I tried to keep it all balanced - the action, the pace and quality of the plot versus the presentation of new content.

I have been thinking of adding more stuff for industrialists like descriptions of how and where to produce stuff or even whole chains of productions but then i would raise the risk of making the text to hard and "too much". The plot would not be in balance with the rest.

To add more features would require more people talking about it, getting used with it, proposing ideas, counter-ideas so it would become a canon (for this thread only of course). Then I would be able to come up with a story describing more stuff like where to make a battleship.

Think of it not solely as a story but a mix - story with a presentation hidden in it smile

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ANY kind of Micro Transactions / P2W - I QUIT!

Re: The Content: The Siege (story)

Radix Salvilines wrote:
Hugh Ruka wrote:

too complicated and too unrealistic ... makes for a nice story but that's it.

if you want to justify your suggestions in the other thread, come up with some numbers and not a pretty story.

hehe unrealistic? Can someone correct me if i am wrong but this is a game about robots on another planet being controlled via a wormhole...
I am sorry but it just made me laugh... big_smile:D

too complicated? not more than chess if you ask me...
I doubt anyone had problems in understanding while reading the story.

you need numbers to grasp my vision? okay let me translate... lets say in something like this: 3(5) means 3 robots and an overall strength is 5.

3(4)
3(4)+1(1)
4(4)-1(1)
4(4)<3(10)
12(9)<18(25)
0(0)<6(10)
6(10)>1(10)
you can see here how well balanced everything is now...

i hope this is satisfactory as a "justification" for you.

Now seriously - I am sorry but I find your reply lacing any content - complicated - what you mean by that? Unrealistic - what you mean by that?
Anyways thanks for the kind words - by saying it is a pretty story you made me very happy wink

unrealistic in the sense that any military action would not go that way ... definitely not in a game. also unrealistic in the current concept of the world. that we are playing a sci-fi game does not enable you to make up anything because the game world is not "real". It is very real in the context of the game (see Argas post).

complicated in the sense that there are too many things going on, too many items in the scene, all is a mess just to illustrate some action.

Re: The Content: The Siege (story)

Probably the first time in the history of the 'net that this meme isn't sarcastic but .....

Cool story, bro.

Re: The Content: The Siege (story)

Rad, that was an entertaining story, thanks for taking the time to craft it.  But be prepared for the ADD brigade to ignore it with a TLDR... ^^

If you can't kill it, don't make it mad.

Re: The Content: The Siege (story)

I posted in the rubber room asking if fan fic was allowed here, I guess so, would be nice to have a link started just for that.