Syndic: Let me have your attention for a moment! So you're talking about what? You're talking about...(puts out his cigarette)...complaining about that fleet you whelped, some son of a *** that doesn't want to log in, somebody that doesn't want what to pvp, some forum war you're jerking off to and so forth. Let's talk about something important. They all here?
Anonymous: All but Merkle.
Syndic: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important! (to Smokey) Put that cigarette down!! Cigarettes’ are for pvpers only. (Smokey coughs) Do you think I'm *** with you? I am not *** with you. I'm here from Beta. I'm here from CIR and 77. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Smokey?
Smokey: Yeah.
Syndic: You call yourself a pvper, you son of a ***?
Jita: I don't have to listen to this ***.
Syndic: You certainly don't pal. 'Cause the good news is – you already quit. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one more chance to regain your momentum, starting now. Starting with your next op. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this month’s killboard. As you all know, first prize is a 6-Beta Island Sweep. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a rental on Kentagura. Third prize is you suck. You get the picture? You're laughing now? You got bots and members. Joke and STC made good NIC. Get their FCs to outfit them! You can't lead the players you've recruited, you can't lead ***, you ARE ***, hit Alpha pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!
Smokey: The servers are weak.
Syndic: 'The servers are weak.' *** servers are weak? You're weak.
Jita: What's your philosophy?
Syndic: *** YOU, that's my philosophy!! You know why, joker? 'Cause you live on Alpha tonight, I live wherever the *** I want. That's my philosophy!! (to Jita) And your philosophy is "you're whining." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't lead them. (at a near whisper) And you go to Alpha and tell STC your troubles. (to everyone again) Because only one thing counts in this game! Get them to die under the heel which is stomping! You hear me, you *** maggots?
(Syndic flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.)
Syndic: A-B-C. A-always, B-been, C-crying. Always been crying! Always been crying!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because you're still reading forums. You lead or you hit Alpha! Decision -- have you made your decision to Play?!! And action. A-I-D-A; log in and get out there!! You got the recruits comin' in; you think they came in through Steam to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't sub into this game unless he wants to play. Sitting out there waiting to give you their loyalty! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Jita) What's the problem pal? You. Jita.
Jita: You're such a hero, you're so tough. Why you coming down here and waste your time on a bunch of bums?
(Syndic sits and takes off his epriton plated watch)
Syndic: You see this watch? You see this watch?
Jita: Yeah.
Syndic: That watch cost more than your MK2 mining fleet. My guys mined 970,000U of epi last month. How much yours’ mine? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a ***. Good forum warrior? *** you -- go to Zoom and cry about plasma bombs!! (to everyone) You wanna win here? Lead!! You think this is abuse? You think I’m trying to ruin the game, you cocksucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you’d get with a real population?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there tonight with the resources you got, get myself fifteen kills! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of ***! Get mad!! You know what it takes to lead fleets?
(He pulls it out)
Syndic: It takes brass balls to lead fleets.
(He's holding two brass balls on string, over the appropriate "area"--he puts them away after a pause)
Syndic: Go and do likewise, gents. The recruits are out there, you seek them out, they’re yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those ops tonight and lead, log in, it's yours. If not you're going to be buying my epriton. Bunch of losers sitting around Alpha. (in a mocking weak voice) "Oh yeah, I used to be on Beta, it's a tough racket." (he takes out a graph of long horizontal yellow lines from the top 10 of the killboard) These are the recent kills. These are the CIR/77 Kills. And to you, they're unattainable. And you can’t compete with them. Why? Because to log in and fight might mean throwing away a few bots.
I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. (to Jita as he puts on his watch again) And to answer your question, old pal: why am I here? I came here because CIR and 77 asked me. They asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and stomp your *** *** because a loser is a loser.