well a lot has been said already,
first off: this is a major improvement to the old tutorials. good job on that.
but there are a few things that can be improved.
1: faction bots:
i think there should be more prefitted bots avalible mabe a small background menu in the terminal where you can fast spawn pre fitted bot. small assault mech heavy. important that its visible all the time and can be used very fast. maybe this should just start to appear when you reach the faction bots in the checklist, or even after you have used the 3 ones in the list.
2: show of of the factions:
i think you should give here a bit more details in what the factions are good at, or what the specific benefits are.
i can imagine a special area setup just for each bot. i mean there is more then enough room there, so that should not be a problem.
thelodica:
thelodica specializes in long range lases so the prefit should obviously contain HCL laser, range extender and sensor amps.
your objective then should be to derory a enemy (that maybe even has superiour firepower) at long distance without the enemy retaliating. so basicly this will also be your first lesson on how to kite a npc. which is basic knowledge they should have in pve.
pelistal:
ok i think it is obiously. we need a setup where we have some cover and can shoot a enemy that has guns.
nuimqol:
even they have long range weaopnary i would set up here a gauss scenario where te player has short range high dmg fit and has to go for a close range encounter and see the difference of raw firepwer compared to the other ones before. of cource a lessen that close range has its disadvantages would also be good. so once you have successfully killed the one enemy you could spawn another 3 that you might not be able to handle. then you also save your way back to the terminal. of cource pack it into a a good story and use some explayning on the mission.
voiceover:
yes it has been said before, and honestly i had also that idea when i just started the tutorial. as good as it is now. but whet ppl get into a game is the mood. that usually is done by music and by voice. you feel way more involved if you have a voice telling you what to do. it dont has to be a sexy woman voice (but of cource with a mostly male community it might have a beneift or two). an ai like voice filter may also work very good. or what ever you might have avalible.
you want to make a good impression. then i suggest you realy consider a voiceover. this dont has to be perfect, maybe even someone in the community can do that. but people will feel way more involved, and that should lead to more subs.
as you daid before: a beginning is a delicate time. this is your first impression, and thats what ppl will see and mostly judge the game for. before they decide if this might be intresting or not.
you have your texts, and without going too complicated, buti think that voiceover can be done within an week of time.
p.s.: also this can be very usefull in the missons. for example to have small "voice commands" to help th eplayer what they need do. like keep your distance, charge the enemy, ... ...
last: more directional help for noobs:
when you are deployed i think it would help the noobs to have some more directialnal help. the red indiactor you already use for the menu are good, but a few markers on the radar and/or a a arrow for your bot to show where you have to go might also be a big help for the start.